Posts Tagged ‘Faith’

Dear Onyinyechi,

When I began thinking up this letter, my head was not in the least bit clear. I know you’ll tease that Harp must have caused that, but just this once it wasn’t(perhaps the guys at Guinness need to start paying me for all my love for the Harp brand). I was sitting beside you at the only place you said you liked that night. We had done a trip of about 3 clubs looking for where to “chill” on a Friday night, but none until this one seemed to lift your dour mood.

I was somewhat concerned. I had never seen you this detached and guarded. I asked repeatedly if I had done anything to upset you, but you maintained that it was just “your regular mood”. You jest surely. Your regular mood for me is; witty, determined, engaging and not too shy to throw in that distinct laughter of yours to accentuate a conversation.

I have gone so far off course. I am writing this staring at you sleeping. It’s almost 7am, somehow you had slept off midway into putting your hair in rollers, and still in that lovely dress you wore yesterday, your head is ever so slightly on the pillow as you sweetly doze. I should take a picture. Something to record this priceless moment for all eternity, but something within me tells me there will be thousand other moments such as this to choose from.

It’s been so difficult for me these past 16 months to open my heart to beauty and the music that is borne of such a wondrous being such as you. I had sealed myself off from the world, hiding loneliness and the void behind a facade of being a workaholic. It’s been a most interesting period.

I have paused again. Watching the rhythmic rise and fall of your chest as you breathe, praying to God  to keep you till time loses all value. Your cute nose; ever so deftly placed by the grand maestro Himself like on a painting that even Michelangelo would have gaped at in awe. The lips, oh those lips that remind me of succulent grapes nurtured to perfection for the delicacy of near-gods…

I don’t know how this has happened, that one minute, I was devoid of any reason to believe that this life would be smiled upon by cupid, the other now asking myself if there was no need to make my house more comfortable for you as a woman. I make mental notes to get all the things you have requested for but I’ve not been able to provide. You see, my house has always been a house to me. There’s has been no one to share it with, so the business of turning it into a home has always been left on the back-burner. I had been successful at turning my back on love, content with accepting the crumbs of lust and transient obsessions. Anything just to feel the emptiness within. But here I feel the fullness of joy.

These are early days yet, and the fact that the journey is long and full of promise sets forth a fountain of hope in me. And as this New Year begins, I pray it grants us joy unequalled, the sort that God grants specially to those who follow His will.

Thanks for bringing sunshine and rain into this dark, deserted arid land.

Yours always,

Ese

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First time I saw the chap, he was round and tiny and hairless. Cutest pink lips one could imagine, and a nose that suggested he was his mother’s son.  Eight days later they named him Oghenetega (God is worthy of worship) and so the journey began.

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I remember his baby tantrums with a smile now; seemed to me like he was going to be one determined man someday. Always wanted to have his way like all babies are wont to, but with Fisayo (his mom) being the disciplinarian that she is, he gradually learnt to make compromises.

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There is this calmness about him; for all of his hyperactivity, there is a stillness in his soul that I believe is as a result of the music of Bach, Beethoven and Mozart my sister used to play to him as a foetus and as he grew. It’s this pensive calmness that drew us to each other. That look on his face when he’s focused on something, as if he is deep in thought contemplating the pros and cons of a particular decision…. Priceless. Just priceless.

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But that is not why I love this boy ao much, our bond reach deeper into the very soul of things. 2012 was a turning point year for me; jobless, broke and at the end of the rope (or so it seemed at that time) I found strength in watching Tega laugh and smile and fool around. It was as if he felt I was going through a bad patch, and so he bonded with me. Hugged me like life depended on it, sat on me like I was a comfy couch and always so ecstatic to see me.

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I was going through hell, but in this boy I saw heaven and all its promises of hope, strength, renewal, faith and growth become real right before my eyes. I was crumbling within, but here was the sweet chap going happy go lucky with not a care in the world and smiling. After all, he’s a baby and had no care in the world. But somehow I knew better; that unspoken bond between us was such that when he looked at me, I felt he was telling me everything will be okay.

 

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And so I got off my butt and made a vow to turn my life around so I could take care of this boy. I told myself that I would do whatever it would take to make sure that I could take him out to fun spots, buy him clothes, toys, and everything. I stayed up nights praying to God to make a way for me, to help me be able to repay this angel who had been sent to walk me through the wilderness.

God answered soon as he eventually does. Things picked up little by little. In the storm I had lost one of my anchors and prized jewels, but the new dawn that was breaking looked loaded with a more bountiful harvest. I had come out of a dark tunnel to witness the beauty of a lush and fertile countryside, and more importantly it was all mine to cultivate and harvest from.

I haven’t even started making good on my promise to you Tega, but you know that uncle Ese loves you more than anything in the world. So as you celebrate your birthday today, know this for certain: the times will come when you will need me, and I will always be there for you.

Happy birthday mate!

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