Posts Tagged ‘Family’

First time I saw the chap, he was round and tiny and hairless. Cutest pink lips one could imagine, and a nose that suggested he was his mother’s son.  Eight days later they named him Oghenetega (God is worthy of worship) and so the journey began.

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I remember his baby tantrums with a smile now; seemed to me like he was going to be one determined man someday. Always wanted to have his way like all babies are wont to, but with Fisayo (his mom) being the disciplinarian that she is, he gradually learnt to make compromises.

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There is this calmness about him; for all of his hyperactivity, there is a stillness in his soul that I believe is as a result of the music of Bach, Beethoven and Mozart my sister used to play to him as a foetus and as he grew. It’s this pensive calmness that drew us to each other. That look on his face when he’s focused on something, as if he is deep in thought contemplating the pros and cons of a particular decision…. Priceless. Just priceless.

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But that is not why I love this boy ao much, our bond reach deeper into the very soul of things. 2012 was a turning point year for me; jobless, broke and at the end of the rope (or so it seemed at that time) I found strength in watching Tega laugh and smile and fool around. It was as if he felt I was going through a bad patch, and so he bonded with me. Hugged me like life depended on it, sat on me like I was a comfy couch and always so ecstatic to see me.

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I was going through hell, but in this boy I saw heaven and all its promises of hope, strength, renewal, faith and growth become real right before my eyes. I was crumbling within, but here was the sweet chap going happy go lucky with not a care in the world and smiling. After all, he’s a baby and had no care in the world. But somehow I knew better; that unspoken bond between us was such that when he looked at me, I felt he was telling me everything will be okay.

 

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And so I got off my butt and made a vow to turn my life around so I could take care of this boy. I told myself that I would do whatever it would take to make sure that I could take him out to fun spots, buy him clothes, toys, and everything. I stayed up nights praying to God to make a way for me, to help me be able to repay this angel who had been sent to walk me through the wilderness.

God answered soon as he eventually does. Things picked up little by little. In the storm I had lost one of my anchors and prized jewels, but the new dawn that was breaking looked loaded with a more bountiful harvest. I had come out of a dark tunnel to witness the beauty of a lush and fertile countryside, and more importantly it was all mine to cultivate and harvest from.

I haven’t even started making good on my promise to you Tega, but you know that uncle Ese loves you more than anything in the world. So as you celebrate your birthday today, know this for certain: the times will come when you will need me, and I will always be there for you.

Happy birthday mate!

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My love for Michael Buble is actually a recent one. I had listened to a lot of his old songs back in the days not knowing who was responsible for such deep, meaningfully refreshing and poignant lyrics. Yes words move me, and if you go ahead and snicker and mumble sissy, I’d understand. These lyrics below, to Michael Buble’s “End of May” seem to be what I would have written to express how I have until recently been feeling.  Somehow when I look back, I feel no worries,  no tears, no sad words…

I have somehow found strength in places I didn’t use to look. In God, in my work (I love my new job) and in helping others cross the bridge beyond fear to hope. I’ve watched my nephew Tega grown from a tiny baby, to a two-year old who likes FUN’s “Some Nights”, and will cry if you change the channel while a soccer match is on. In my darkest periods, his growth and the way he laughs come what may, gave me hope and helped me heal.

No I am not in denial or regret, there seems to have dawned on me a refreshing clarity of how things were and of how things needed to be. I have seen a past built on nonchalance, on complacence, on the backs of two broken spirits who needed strength to attain independence before venturing onto the crowded roads of interdependence.

In a way I feel like I just took a dive into a cold lake on a humid day, cooling the heat brought upon my neck by the scorching sun at the height of summer. I have found new strength rooted in the love of family and in the goodwill of friends (and the exposal of a few enemies), and still it all seems like I have just started on this journey of self discovery.

So each day, I wake up excited about the possibilities inherent in the new dawn, and I go about my walk much more eager to leave my mark on those I meet along the way. I have learnt that being responsible for others requires that you at first be responsible for yourself; that you take it upon yourself to stay true to the values you have set your heart on to follow.

I digress perhaps from this beautiful song, forgive me. Please download the song and thanks for reading these words….

Michael Buble – End of May

Golden haze,
Another morning feels like yesterday.
End of may..
Now you’re gone and there’s still bills to pay.
And you know it doesn’t help to make believe, you’re sitting next to me.
It doesn’t help, to make believe that you are right behind me
Saying it’s okay.

Longer days,
More time to sit and watch the pendulum sway.
In quiet rage I’m staring at this empty notebook page.
In times like these you feel like you are done with feeling,
You feel you want to stop the pain from healing
Because you feel like you’re the only one,
Who’s ever felt this way.

Some days in a daze, there’s brighter days.
Funny how the feeling never stays,
But I know I’ll have to come to terms when I’m awake,
Thinking about you is the icing on the cake.
Makes me realize the fact you’re gone for good for goodness sake.

Golden haze, another morning feels like yesterday.
End of may, a year is gone and I still feel this way,
When we meet again, I’ll ask you how you’re doing
And you’ll say fine and ask me how I’m doing

And then I’ll lie and I’ll say ordinary, It’s just an ordinary day.

It’s just an ordinary day

It’s just an ordinary day

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Edward Israel-Ayide

The Price

Posted: June 7, 2012 in Poetry, Summons
Tags: , , ,

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What happens when the love of family dies?

When the smiles, laughter and joy

That bound you all together,

And made you feel like nobles

Even when you lived in that dingy apartment,

Fades into oblivion for a year;

Or perhaps eternity…Who knows?

What happens now that no arms welcome you  home from work?

When the smiles that brightened your day

Have now gotten a substitute of darkness so thick

That all who come in contact with it

Leave with souls miserable?

Who set you on this rate race?

This aimless pursuit of dreams

Fueled not by a desire to contribute, to reach out, or to heal?

But one solely spurred on by a need to bury

The seeming shame of the past;

To stand at last with shoulders high,

Head in the clouds, smiling with satisfaction within .

Feeling proud, saying “yes I did it all alone”

Well the medals are won, victory’s yours

But pray tell dear friend, at what cost?